I Survived
by OpenWinds309
Summary: Somehow Leah Shepard survived being incinerated in the beam to join organics and synthetics. After fours years of being dead she is brought to the new Citadel to recover. Now everyone is trying to figure out what exactly it is that is keeping her alive, and she just wants to know if Kaidan will still love her after all of the heartbreak she has put him through.


Shepard jumped into the Catalyst's beam to bring peace between synthetics and organics. She wanted organics to gain the knowledge of every synthetic and in turn wanted the synthetics to feel and understand organics. She wanted them to live in peace and work together to create the galaxy that they all deserved.

She just wished should would be able to see it all for her herself.

As Shepard fell to her end she thought of everyone back on the Normandy, and she thought of Kaidan. She said in her head a thousand times that she loved him, and wished somehow he could hear it.

Shepard was _awake._

She felt her fingers twitching and her toes wriggling in ripped and broken equipment. She got her eyes to open slowly and saw a tiny light at the end of the area she was laying in. The sound of people talking could be heard too.

Shepard grunted and moaned, turning herself around to her stomach, she was going to have to crawl out.

Hand by hand she moved a few inches before her fighting body was out of breath. After she caught it she moved forward again, she didn't know what was happening she was just falling to her death…wasn't she? The light started getting bigger and bigger, and the talking louder and louder.

After what seemed like hours, her hand hit a metal grated floor with a hard thump and there was gasps in the room.

"What the hell?" A woman's voice questioned, boots getting closer.

"Oh my god! Pull it out! It's alive!" A male voice yelled. Someone grabbed Shepard's arm and pulled hard.

Once she was out the light was blinding, omni-tools were all over her face as she was searched. The woman spoke to her friends urgently.

"It says it's the Shepard!"

"No way, Commander Shepard is dead, has been for years." The man exclaimed. "Must be a bug."

 _Years?_ It had only been minutes she thought.

Shepard woke back up in a hospital, doctors were marveling over her, and a very familiar voice broke in at a high pitched yell.

"Out of my way!" Shepard opened her eyes a crack to glimpse a very blurry Dr. Chakwas. She was much older now, but she looked very alive when she saw Shepard.

"Oh my god….it is Shepard! I must contact the Alliance headquarters immediately!" She felt a warm hand on a bare shoulder. "Oh my god Shepard….Shepard…" She rushed off and Shepard lost consciousness again.

This time Shepard shot forward in her bed, she could see clearly around the room now.

It was stark white with many different machines in it, beeping annoyingly. The glass doors were covered with metal panels….seemingly for privacy and there were flowers and cards and a huge balloon in the middle of the room. She reached up to feel her head and felt a long strand of hair. Further inspection made her realize it was hers, and for once it was down.

It was long crimson tresses that fell past her shoulder blades, and whatever traces of blood and dirt were in it had been washed out of it. It was a tangled mess, but it was still hers either way. She looked down at her hand, rotating it to assure it was all there. Her skin was pale and a green glow was emanating from it.

The synthesis worked!

Suddenly the door clicked open and she snapped her head to that direction. Dr. Chakwas entered, her eyes lighting up.

"Shepard!" She cried and rushed over to take her hand. "My god, I almost didn't believe it."

"What….what the hell happened…?" Shepard breathed, her voice scratchy and weak. The doctor handed her a glass of water.

"Shepard…you have been dead for four years…. _four_ of them." She explained. "We all assumed…"

"I assumed…I mean I threw myself into a beam. I was supposed to be incinerated!" Shepard replied staring at the wall behind Chakwas.

"The hurt that poor Kaidan went through…" Chakwas muttered squeezing her hand.

"Where is he?! Is he here?" Shepard yelled. "Where are we?"

"You're on the new Citadel….this time not rigged to be a weapon of mass destruction. Kaidan took residence on Earth in Vancouver. I sent word the minute I recognized your body. That was almost a week ago, I assume he'll be here in the next few days." She said, patting her hand.

"Garrus and Tali have already visited…twice. Tali just sat here and cried, I believe, Garrus delivered the balloon." Shepard looked over to it and smiled.

"There is someone here that…I think would like to talk to you very much." Chakwas said.

"Who is it?" She asked

"Doctor T'Soni, she just arrived from Thessia."

Liara walked in carrying a bouquet of flowers, her eyes filled with tears as she stared at Shepard. She dropped the vase and marched over hugging her with all her might. Shepard remembered the vision Liara gave her just before the final fight, the feeling to her on her shoulder, a supportive friend.

"Oh Shepard…by the goddess." Liara cried into her shoulder. "I never…I couldn't…" Liara backed off and held tight to her hand. "How did you survive?"

Shepard shrugged, tears in her eyes too. "It only felt like minutes to me…apparently it wasn't." Liara laughed and hugged her again shaking her head.

"I missed you so much, Shepard." She whispered; Chakwas took her leave.

"I never thought I'd see any of you again." Shepard answered.

"Kaidan is…in a word shocked." Liara sat down closely to the bed.

"You've spoken to him?"

"Yes, he is only a few hours out from here, but…he was almost in a fit of tears when I told him you might be awake when he arrived." Shepard's heart swelled.

She could remember Kaidan's last kiss like it was yesterday, the tears running down his face as he said goodbye. She wanted to hold him so badly.

Shepard woke up to the light sound of combat boots hitting the hollow hospital floor, and they were followed by the sound of a hand hitting the window that was to her left. She slowly moved her head to that side and immediately her chest filled with ache. Standing with his back hunched over the window was the love of her life.

His hair was still its beautiful black and the bits of gray were more prominent now. His arms looked fit but…bruised. He was wearing a fitting black t-shirt and the Navy's blue camouflage pants and boots. She heard him do one of his trademark, Kaidan sighs, and her heart reached out to him.

"Hey there soldier." Shepard said gruffly.

Kaidan jerked around and froze. It was like he had seen a ghost, his whole face turned white and the only color left was the green from the synthesis. He hesitated, he took two steps forward then three back.

"Kaidan?" Leah tried to push herself upwards and Kaidan rushed over to her. When he got close she saw the red puffy eyes, the trail of tears on his cheeks and down past his lips. His brown eyes were darker, as they were when he was emotional, and around his neck were four dog tags.

His and hers.

"Leah…" Kaidan's voice was quiet and somber.

"Oh my god." He breathed sliding his hands up her arms and stopping at her shoulders.

"Kaidan." Shepard reached over a hand to his and felt tears fall down her face. "I'm sorry." She did her best to squeeze his hand but she didn't know just how strong she was.

"God…Leah." Kaidan leaned down and kissed her forehead and pressed his head to hers afterward.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to have deal with this again." Shepard sobbed and Kaidan pressed his lips to her nose and then her temple. "Kaidan…"

"I thought I would never hear that name from your mouth again." He cried softly and one of his tears fell to her cheek. She reached up ad smoothed his stubble down his cheek and wiped his eyes.

"I love you, Kaidan." It broke out as another desperate sob, and Kaidan shook his head and let out a shaky sigh.

"I love you too, with all of my heart." He replied and Leah closed her eyes.

She didn't know just how long they sat there and talked. Kaidan was just a vibrant as she remembered, and every part of him looked so alive. Sometimes he caught her staring hard at his bruises and he would adjust himself in his seat so she couldn't look.

All he could talk about was how much everything has changed because of her decision to combine the synthetics and the organics. The Reapers helped with clean up before they took their leave for deep space…forever. They assured the Council that they would never return.

Kaidan gripped her hand hard and said, "It's because of you Leah. You've become a legend in four years. Everywhere I go I hear about 'the Shepard'." His voice lowered a little. "But, it was hard sometimes to hear about _the_ Shepard and not have _my_ Shepard here."

"Four years this time Leah…four." He let go of her hand and she tried to grab his fingers back but he instead ran them through his hair. He was nervous, and even more than that he was scared. "I spent four years avoiding questions, avoiding the news. I left the Normandy after I put your name on that wall underneath Anderson. I couldn't stay. They tried to promote me. _Promote me._ In your honor they wanted to throw me out back at it. After everything I went through, Liara spent every resource searching that wreckage. Every one. Not a single trace, and then what do I get four years later? A call. Doctor Chakwas had affirmed that your body has been found. A body." Kaidan got up from the chair and it almost fell backward. Now he was mad. His body got that quiet hum it always did when his biotics were waking up. Leah let him go.

"A body was closure, you were dead. I started picking up the pieces of myself. Of my life. Of _our_ life. I went through all your old logs…just to hear your voice. Then not a day later Chakwas calls me again. I told her I didn't need to see your body, I understood. She yells at me that you're alive! _Alive!_ I swear to god I fell to the goddamn floor of my parents balcony. My mom came out to me and started screaming in my ear asking me who it was. Chakwas gave me your vitals, even told me that you started saying my name over and over. When she hung up I blacked out. When I came to my parents were crying over the couch and I asked what was wrong." Kaidan turned to face Leah from the window and once again she could see the bruises on his arms. He lifted up his hands and examined them. Leah gasped.

They were wrapped in gauze, how did she not feel that?

"I had some sort of biotic seizure. My parents had to fight with me to get me to calm down enough and stop attacking myself. I was beating myself up." He sighed and Leah cried.

"Why Kaidan?" She asked and Kaidan walked back over to her and slowly caressed her cheek.

"They said that I had yelled…I left her alone." He started wiping her tears from her cheek over and over and they just sat there in a somber silence.

Finally Leah said, "But you didn't. Down to that last minute before I threw myself into that beam Kaid," She pulled his hand down to her heart. "you were right there with me. Liara made sure of that. She bonded this image into my head that when I closed my eyes…I would see you standing there right in front of me…smiling." Kaidan's eyes widened.

"I'm never alone because I have you. No matter where I am."

In the blink of an eye Kaidan was kissing her. It was feverish, sloppy. But it was more than that, it was him accepting that she wasn't going anywhere this time. It was Leah telling him that she was his through and through and there was no question.

When the pair came up for air Kaidan mounted the bed and Leah started smirking. "And what are you doing?" She asked flirtatiously.

"I'm not leaving tonight, so I might as well get comfortable." Kaidan nestled Leah into his beaten arms.

Leah remained lying flat on her back because of her wires and tubes, but he was on his side and had his face nestled into her neck and hair. She turned her head to the side so their cheeks were lightly touching and while she could close her eyes and remain alert she knew that Kaidan was asleep. There was a light snore sounding in her ears and she couldn't help but smile brightly.

She was home.


End file.
